You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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