Are we in a gay sports bar?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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