he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
