How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize