My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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