her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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