He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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