There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
