6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I love you. Go after that dick
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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