giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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