Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize