You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We have so much sex to catch up on
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
