Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
