i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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