she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize