i jhust puked up my retainher.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
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my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You are a genius and a whore.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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