so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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