normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize