He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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