this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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