We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
