You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize