They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
