You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
