At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
