He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize