At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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