I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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