I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
