I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
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He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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