Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
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Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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