Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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