And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
