All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
