I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
