Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
