There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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