I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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