ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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