My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
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Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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