Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
