Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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