No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
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In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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