Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
