I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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