marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies