I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.