Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done