we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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