If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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