One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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