His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
