i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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