I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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