I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
