Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
